Chapter 8: jurithewriter has started writing her story

My little sister Jumi

I recently realized I live in a time warp, figuratively. Being naturally curious about how the mind functions (as a hobby!), it got me wondering why. 

I concluded it is probably because I am so alone, with nothing but myself to care for and worry about (there’s a whole lot on my plate because I'm alone, in case anyone is thinking otherwise), memories of the past- the good ones, the ones where ‘why me’ questions pop in, the ‘if I had not met someone the mess would not have occurred’ ones, the memories of unexpected angels and wholesome gratefulness.

The feeling of being in a time warp is because at age fifty-one I often go back to when I’m twelve or eighteen or sometimes twenty-five years of age; and it feels like I'm actually there. Some memories are mine, some probably of others, but they all seem real to me.  

Like me, mum was twenty-one years old when she got married. Also like me, she completed her final year degree studies after marriage, living in the college hostel. Unlike me her first child was born a year after her marriage and her second child was born three years post marriage. The spacing between Jumi, my sister and me was likely because mum was breast feeding me. Breast feeding is a good, but not foolproof, way of contraception.

When mum was pregnant with Jumi, she was really pampered. The NDA cosmopolitan culture had predominantly North Indian and South Indian officers back then. There were a few Bengali, Bihari, Marathi, a smattering of Oriya and just one Assamese officer, representing the entire North East India. This demography had changed subsequently to some extent later.

The Assamese don’t really pamper the pregnant. The pregnant continue to do household work as long as possible, food is also the same as our daily meals comprise of vegetables, fish and meat balancing out the protein, vitamins and mineral requirements.  

The Sethis, Saxenas and Hariharans made sure Ma got to eat cream and ghee, clarified butter in plenty; mandatory pregnancy food in their cultures. Ma had joined Pune University for her MA in Political Science, perhaps during her early pregnancy, the result of a lot of encouragement by my father.  She got to take a lot of rest during her second pregnancy. There were two maids and Dad’s office hours ended at 2 pm, so post lunch was siesta time and evenings were spent either visiting colleagues, watching movies in the beautiful NDA auditorium or inviting friends over. There was no television those days so mum would do a lot of knitting, hand embroidery, and brush up her culinary skills with plenty of helpful inputs from my father’s colleagues’ wives and the NDA ladies’ club meetings.  

My mum went for her pregnancy checkups to KEM hospital, Pune. King Edward Memorial Hospital was owned by a Parsee gentleman. At the final check-up a couple of days before mum’s delivery was due, the gynaecologist found out that the baby was breech. Breech babies have difficult deliveries as the baby bums point to the birth passage instead of the head (which is how it is mostly). 

Ma was told that they would have to do a caesarian surgery to get the baby out. Those days caesarian sections were infrequently done. My father worried how he would manage without any family support. The incredibly determined Ma convinced herself that all would be well and a beautiful, chubby, ronga-boga (glowing pink) girl, Jumi was born on the 23^rd of February. My dad was with my mum and the Sethis took the onus of my care during the time mum was in the hospital.

Many of my time warp moments include several such incidents where gratitude overwhelms other emotions, incidents where close family abandoned or were not physically available and survival was enabled by humans who can only be called angels.

Ma was God loving. She had a dedicated prayer space in each of her homes. She adored Lord Krishna and prayed vigorously for a male child during her second pregnancy. The night before her caesarian section a Goddess, attired in radiating white clothes, told her she’s going to have a girl child again and entered her womb in her dreams.