As within, so without.

Hi everyone! This is my first blog from Guwahati. To understand why, please read the blog I published just previous to this one. Finally my own house is beginning to inspire me.

It must be the flowers. My balcony right now is a riot of colours. And a bunch of naughty yellow flowers has a lone flower with a single lilac petal. *mushy smiley*. And then there are red and white and hues of red. The bamboo is flourishing. The curry plant has started sprouting fresh sprigs. It's almost as if all the plants are happy to have me back. Jatin takes care of them mostly, but I often stand just behind the french windows that open into this balcony and send silent thanks to all these lovelies. 

As within so without.

This blog is more of a newsletter to all my well wishers about my current status. Much like business houses that send out periodicals to their stakeholders about how they are doing. I know I tend to suddenly clam into a shell almost on a seasonal basis. I have reasons, and I request you not to be judgemental about them. Some of you know the reasons. Most of you don't. Some things cannot be publicised too much. The only way to cope with some problems is -alone. The only person that can help you is-you yourself. 

Therefore as within, so without. If you can create peace within, the turbulence outside subsides. All the wise say this. When I withdraw into my shell it is to attempt to create this inner peace. Although I do sometimes feel that my plate has been a little more full than others. Is this self pity? Maybe. I don't know. But no one can accuse me of not having my moments of happiness and joy.

So my friends, my boat is still in the middle of a rather turbulent river, and without a proper boatman steering it I cannot say which way it will go with my rational and logical mind. But if it is indeed as within so without, I know all will be well and only those things will happen that are good for me. And this can only happen if I stop reminding myself and everyone else about events of my life. Which is why I occasionally go into periods of stubborn silence. To become within what I want without. I can see this already working. The sad wrinkled greens on my balcony are now happy naughty plants. Objective evidence of a changed without.

I hope this blog answers all of you who have stood by me and have been the reasons for my having reached this far. My friends (old and new), my relatives, my doctors, my colleagues, my bosses, I owe this one to all of you. Love you. Bless you. As within so without.

Once upon an again in Mumbai

There is something about Jumi's house in Belapur. It makes me itch to write. I have all the signs of a bestselling writer. I know it is annoying, but I am genetically conditioned to brag. I realize it, and ask for forgiveness. But please bear with my genes. I had no hand in making them. They are completely the Lord's architecture. *impish smiley*

The reason I make this self analysed claim is because of the quirkiness in the timing of my creative outputs. For example, my creative juices wanting to flow particularly when I'm in Jumi's house. That is quirkiness, isn't it? All great writers have had quirks in them. some could write only in restaurants, some had to put their feet into shoes nailed into a wall for their pens to move, and so on and so forth.

Anup dropped in yesterday. He was here to attend a workshop. He has an endearing sense of humour and is wonderful company. I had texted my address to him and he surprised me by calling me from the gate of Jumi's apartment complex. I admired his sense of direction, having come here without as much as single phone call asking for directions. I came to understand that he owed his expert skill to his friend Sridhar who had accompanied him, when I went to the lobby to receive them. Both of them are histopathologists and alumni of the same institute. Sridhar is a local and works in the hospital where Anup's workshop was held.  Their short visit was sweet and left us in smiles.

Latika came later the same day. With her family of four. A beautiful tall charming daughter, an imp of a son who one falls in love with and a wonderful spouse who makes everyone comfortable and at ease in an instant. Latika is a homemaker. She looks the same age as her 9th grade daughter. She drives an SUV and maintains an immaculate house. No dust or clutter anywhere. Appeals to the ISO assessor in me. She is helpful, charming and confident. She amazes me and I think of her with wonder. I wish I was like her. These are people who make their friends feel safe. They are folks who will hold your hands when you need a hand. I am friends with Latika because of Gargi. And Gargi is an NRI. When one door closes, another opens. Such is the way destiny is written.

I write about Latika now because Latika is from Mumbai and I am in Mumbai now. Several others have made me feel secure in my year of personal strife. Doors have been shut by people who were automatically assumed would be the support system because of the several years shared with them, and large welcoming gates thrown open into palatial hearts from those least expected to do so. The Lord has a way of clearing the path whether or not one asks for it. Planning too much ahead is clearly not the way the Maker wants us to live. "There is no path to happiness, Happiness is the way," Lord Buddha stated. I guess all we have to do is be happy in the moment, and the rest is automatically taken care of.

A certain astrologer told me recently that I have a terrific sense of humour. He definitely is a very good astrologer. Recognizing my skills so accurately. *naughty smiley*. Signing off today with this one more genetically programmed brag. Oh, and one more thing. If anyone wants to give me a gift and was wondering what to give, I could use an Apple airbook (laptop). Thank you very much.